Her Twisted Delusion
by linwe viper emily nolatari
Summary: Sequel to "Twisted Desire" this one is from Tohru's POV about her rape. The identity of the perp is revealed.


So inspiration kinda just hit me for this. This is the sequel for "Twisted Desire" from Tohru's POV.

So the perpetrator has a name and a face now.

He hadn't meant it.

Kind, sagely, Shigure-san could not possibly do something like that. And even though he had, she wanted so badly to believe it was not possible.

He hadn't meant it. He had always been so kind and helpful towards her, somehow it must have been her fault. She had somehow enticed him; maybe it was her too short school uniform? Yeah, that was probably it.

She curled herself in her bed, hugging her knees to her chest and crying silent tears as she no longer was able to keep the lie she was trying to spin.

Whatever it had been, whose fault it had been, it didn't matter, because he had done it, but even that didn't matter. This time it had been more tolerable than the first time. At least this time she hadn't felt like she was being ripped in half and he wasn't laughing at her misery. In fact, Shigure-san barely spoke to her since, but she realized that in reality it was her that was avoiding him.

How could she face him? Every time she got near enough to him she could smell him, and the all too vivid memories came flooding back. Every touch, every intimate, forceful caress intermingled with the memories of a long forgotten day when she had gotten lost and had been found by the big bad wolf who almost ripped her apart. Her father had died not too long before, she was trying to be mindful of her mother's delicate psyche, since in her small child brain all she understood was that her mother had been really sad and that now she was happy. That one time when she had fallen and scrapped her knee her mother had almost lost her mind, she was afraid that her mom would leave her again, like when her father died, if she saw her nether regions, so she painfully tried to fix herself as best she could. She forced a smile so bright, that it blinded her mother, and so, painfully, secretly, and with time she healed herself, her mother none the wiser.

This time she constantly checked herself, something that she had not done since those days long past, trying to see the damage, but for the most part, everything looked like it was supposed to. She wasn't the most savvy when it came to things like sex, and she had not thought much about consequences. That first time she had been too young for consequences, but this time it was different.

The first month passed after the incident, then the next, and the blood she had feared in the aftermath of the attack had completely forsaken her and she now wanted to see it.

She was probably still shaken over the whole ordeal; there was nothing for her to worry about.

Then one morning she had an urge to vomit the food she had yet to eat. She rushed to her bathroom and bent over the toilet, foam coming up. She wiped her mouth of the errand saliva and foam she had spit. She caught Shigure-san staring at her with an odd look on his face. Did he seem…worried?

Hana-chan had been suspicious since the beginning, but somehow she didn't pry too much into it. She's glad for that; Hana-chan would probably kill Shigure-san for sure. Uo-chan doesn't have Hana-chan's abilities, so she's only assuming that she is finally acting like a "normal" teen. Yuki-kun has also been trying to figure things out, but Shigure-san assured everyone that she was just moody, due to her adolescence.

One day talking to Rin, the conversation about pregnancy came up. Rin was sexually active, and bound to have a pregnancy scare, which she did.

"I can't be pregnant!" she exclaimed, her eyes wild, "I need to get a pregnancy test, now!"

She went with them to the pharmacy, where Rin took the pregnancy test with shaky hands and quickly paid and headed to Shigure-san's house. Thankfully it was empty. She used her bathroom and the anticipation was scary. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rin came out, a look of relief on her face.

"Not pregnant." She showed her and Kagura the contraption showing a single blue line. She stared at it intently; she needed to remember what it looked like. She needed one.

After school the next day she nervously headed to a pharmacy. She felt lonely and scared, and wished any one of her friends was there with her. A pregnancy had never even crossed her mind, to be perfectly honest she had not quite tied the dots between her period, sex and a pregnancy, much less connected the warm sticky mess from Shigure-san and her lack of blood for a few months as a pregnancy. She walked into the pharmacy, her head bowed, hoping nobody would recognize her. It wasn't so much she was ashamed of possibly being pregnant, as much as she was scared of people finding out. They would all want to know who it was, when it happened, and where, and she couldn't possibly do that to Shigure-san. Whatever he had done to her, he had always been kind to her, and she could not betray that kindness. With a heavy heart she took a pregnancy test and paid for it. She hoped that the house would be empty. It was. She hurried to her bathroom, got naked from the waist down and waited. She was hoping for that single blue line, instead she got 2 red lines. Instinctively she had known the answer already, but it still didn't make it any less shocking. What was she going to do now? She needed to talk to Shigure-san about it. It was as much his child as it was hers.

As luck would have it, Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun were both going to be out that night, leaving only her and Shigure-san in the house. As nervous as she was, and as scared as she was of being alone with him, she meekly approached him.

"Um, Shigure-san…?"

He looked up from the book he was reading, but didn't say anything. She wasn't sure how she should proceed, how did people confess things like these?

"I…I think I'm pregnant." She didn't need to say whose it was, or say anything at all, really. He put his book on the table and pounced on her, pinning her to that same table, riding up her skirt and pulling down her underwear.

"And what, pray tell, should we do about that?" He purred into her ear, as she squirmed beneath him, trying to get away from his questing fingers. "You know," he began, "to get rid of _it_, they jam…" his fingers violently entered her, "a type of vacuum to suck everything out?" His fingers seemed to want to tear out the child themselves, she painfully tried to get away from them, but his weight on her was too much for her small, lithe body. She could feel him scratching her insides; she cried out in pain, "Stop!" the tears now freely running down her cheeks. He stopped, removed his hand from her insides and got off her.

"Well I guess you have no other choice. Why don't you just tell them what happened? Nobody is going to blame you for it."

He went back to reading his book as if nothing had happened.

She would have to do something, and soon. Her clothes were getting tighter, she had maxed out the circumference of her school uniform's skirt, and her shirt was beginning to let show curves she never knew she could have. She was also staining said shirt with liquid coming from her breasts, the changes she was going through scared her and she didn't want to face them alone.

Hana-chan was the first one to realize it. Maybe it was because of her powers, but whatever it was, she knew it first.

"Hey, is it just me or is Tohru all of a sudden becoming sexier?" Uo-chan teased, "She's filling out in places."

"I think she might be pregnant. I've noticed another aura stream lately."

"What? Really, she's gone all the way with Kyo already? Who would've thought?

"Somehow, I doubt it was Kyo."

"If it wasn't Kyo, then who? But as soon as her words came out, Uo-chan realized the magnitude of them. She wasn't the type to go around, Kyo was her boyfriend, the love of her life, she would never go and have sex with someone else.

"Tohru-kun, we need to talk." And she spilled everything that she had been holding back for so many months. How she had been raped, and how she was now pregnant and scared and alone.

"You're not alone, you have us, and you have that idiot." But she didn't have Kyo. As soon as he found out she had been raped and was now pregnant, he cut off any relationship with her.

The months passed, and even though her great love had forsaken her, he had eventually mellowed out, but he could no longer be her lover. He was not ready, nor willing to be a father, especially a father to a child born from rape. She understood it, it hurt, but she could understand, too. Sometimes she wondered if she would be able to love her child the same as if it had been a product of love, not violence, but then, the child would make its presence known, as if saying, "Don't forget about me" and she couldn't feel nothing but love for it.

She was standing outside her bedroom, readying herself for school when she felt something wet run down her legs, looking down, suddenly a gush of liquid came pouring out of her.

"Oh my god Tohru, your water just broke!" Her friends had moved in with her to help her with the delivery.

As her screams echoed throughout the house, she wondered if Shigure-san was there listening to them? Was he feeling even a little bit guilty? Was he worried about them?

Labor was endless, but finally, with one final push her little one came crying into the world. As she held him in her arms for the first time, she couldn't help but notice how much he looked like his father. She wondered how long it would be for the others to notice.

But looking at the child in her arms, and realizing how much he looked like her tormentor, even so, she felt a deep love for the child that now requested all of her attention.

"It was a boy." She overheard Hatori-san tell the ones waiting outside.

No matter what the future held, she knew one thing for certain, she would love that child with all her might, but she wouldn't try to shield him from the realities of the world like her mother before her had. Maybe, just maybe if her mother had taught her some of her tough girl antics, she would not have caught the eye of a kind man with a sadistic streak.

But none of that really mattered now, she was a mother now, and she was alone with her child. The father barely if he even gave the child a second glance.

He never approached her again. It seemed that whatever he had wanted to accomplish that day long ago had been accomplished. She could no longer be that saintly, pure girl she had been. She now knew full well the evil men were capable of, her child a vivid reminder of it. All those many years ago when that man had raped her the first time, she convinced herself it never happened, thus continuing her existence of untainted kindness and love for everyone. When it happened again, she was too old to lie to herself, she had to admit that what happened was wrong, that he had no right to do that. Even so, she couldn't and wouldn't hate him.

The child was growing up beautifully, he would soon begin asking questions. What would she tell him?


End file.
